Saturday, February 03, 2007

It probably won't work out if...

She asks about your dog and you tell her about your ex-wife.

During the course of your first date you mention hunting someone down and killing them.

She tells her mother your name is Carl, but it's really Carlos.

You separated from your wife a month prior to your first date.

During the initial courting, you bring up the topic of nicknames for a cat's penis.

And,

It probably won't work out if when she tells you she's going to bed, the following conversation ensues:

"Lucky," you tell her.

"Yeah. I'm pretty tired." she replies.

To which you add, "No, I mean you're lucky because you get to go to bed with you."

Instead of getting a second date, you'll probably just make her stomach lurch.

10 comments:

CoatMan said...

That is so inane, it hurts. And I'm glad that you've updated at last - I was beginning to wonder whether you'd entirely dissolved.

James said...

That is so awful I actually laughed. How do you respond to that?

ThePapaDog said...

I've been trying to think of a good response as well. Too Funny.

Cute Jewess said...

Best worst pick up line I've gotten (so did NOT work):

"If your left leg was Easter, and your right leg was Christmas, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?"

2nd best worst:
"Do you like apple juice? Because you are Very Fine!"

Sex & Moxie said...

Men reading dating advice books. Of course, they're not men you'd ever actually date :)

I alweays laugh when guys make sly little innuendo laced comments during phone calls.

The Dauntless Dater said...

Coatman: Thanks. It feels good to be missed. I haven't dissolved. It's just too damn cold to go out and date.

James/Papa: Yeah. All I came up with was, "Uh. Heh heh. yeah."

Jewess: Wow, that's disgusting. I might just try it for effect one of these days.

Sex: Tell me about it. I just wish they knew this stuff intuitively. Seems like it's common sense to me.

CoatMan said...

Dauntless: Well, by goodness, just get some thermal underwear and brave the cold! You don't expect your fans to wait weeks between each post, do you? :-p

Mark said...

Men certainly read dating books, it's called The Game! Found a nice selection of the best ones here actually...

http://www.maybedate.com/datingbooks.html

londongirl said...

My sister gave me a number of dating books. Including
- How to make anyone fall in love with you
- The Program. 12 steps to finding a husband after 30
- Jane Austen's guide to dating.

I'm not sure I'd recommend any of them. Though I've read them all, I am as yet unmarried and, to my knowledge, no-one has fallen in love with me yet.

CoatMan said...

Londongirl: Nobody fallen in love with you yet? What about Pointless?