Monday, July 31, 2006

Do NOT make fun of your date's anatomy

Ok. I admit it. I'm no Pamela Anderson. Hell, I wouldn't even be mistaken for her second cousin. But don't remind me. Especially when you're trying to impress me.

Let me start off by giving you some background on my date: Chronologically, he was older than me by about five years. Maturity-wise, he was younger by about ten (I mean really...no one's made fun of my chest size since eighth grade! And yes Keith, that is why I still won't go out with you).

Anyway, the date doesn't start off too badly. But after a couple drinks, his annoying habit of saying something stupid and following with a "Just kiddin" becomes like a chapter out of a Tourette's Syndrome handbook. It sounded somewhat like this: "You've got food in your teeth...Just kiddin!" and "That guy's staring at your ass...Just kiddin!"

Well, for some reason, after about the third drink (Can you believe I was still there?), my date asks me if he can see my driver's license (Ladies, bad idea, I know. Only stalkers and morons ask to see your license. I got lucky with a moron). A buzz making me think nothing of it, I hand over the license. He takes a long look at it, looks up at me, looks at the license, and up at me again. At which point he asks,

"Oh my God! Did you have a breast reduction? Just Kiddin!"

With as much grace as I could muster, I picked my jaw up off the floor, chugged my beer, and replied,

"You know, I'd really love to go out with you again...Just kiddin!"

3 comments:

The Naked Newlywed said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dainty Inferno said...

I think I dated this guy. Except he would go with thinly-veiled insults and then go, "Just kiddin'!"

There wasn't a second date. No kiddin'.

Anonymous said...

The fact that he asked to see your driver's license is just weird! Lol what is he going to do with it?!