Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Runner

I'm not exactly forward. If I see a guy who I think is cute, my MO is to put myself in his vicinity and hope he makes a move. Not the best way to meet a guy, I'll admit, but sometimes it turns out I'm thankful for that.

The other day at the gym, I spotted a good-looking guy on the treadmill. Unfortunately, the nice new treadmill next to him was taken. I settled for an older model and began my workout. As soon as the treadmill next to him became available, I hopped off my machine and onto that one. Sweet. A good treadmill and a chance to meet this guy.

About five minutes into my run, Cute Guy tightly gripped the handles of his treadmill. Hmm. He must be getting tired. I hope he's not getting off so soon. Then he returned to pumping his arms. Oh good. He's not stopping. Three seconds later, a rotten stench filled the air. Oh, what? Eww. Dude, was that him?

I gave him the benefit of the doubt - it could have been anyone - and let my mind wander back to his calves. A few minutes later, he grasped for the handles again. And ten seconds after that, bam! Like a month old egg cracked in July.

The next time he reached for his treadmill, I frantically jammed the emergency stop button and went to lift weights next to the old guy who smelled like peaches. Mmm. Peaches.

So guys, it's ok to stop mid-run to use the bathroom. Really, please do.