Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Bees are Attracted to Honey, Not Dickheads

His email consisted of three paragraphs. One to pad each insult.

From paragraph 1:

"You get points for being a Skins fan. But, other than a healthy interest in sports, I hope you have more to offer - I mean, I can easily enjoy sports with my buddies, but I'd like the women I date (yes, he used the plural form of woman) to have more to offer."

And paragraph 2:

"I also see you're looking for someone "outdoorsy"- what exactly is your definition? I hope you're not the type to consider "roughing it" as walking the C&O canal in running shoes while gabbing on your cell phone."

Ok, in an offer of full disclosure, he did put a :-P after that statement. But, really? :-P doesn't do much for me after a second insult.

And for his parting words:

"I'm sure your headline (phrase people see before clicking on a profile) has caused your inbox to flood with emails from pudgy, middle-aged divorcees, so I'll let you get back to reading them."

If this were the hive, he would not be banging the queen.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Sex, Love, and Guacamole

I've decided that's all a girl really needs to maintain a state of bliss. And this Cinco de Mayo, one out of three ain't bad.