Saturday, August 04, 2007

Wardrobe Malfunctions

Home improvement stores are the best places to meet strapping young men who are good with their hands. Ehhem. Urban legend or not, this belief lives on in the hearts of single women everywhere.

I happily hummed to myself as I strolled the aisles at Lowes, feeling giddy about some of those strapping prospects I spotted. Taking my time, I carefully selected my merchandise (stalked a particularly steamy customer), and headed for the check out. I was helped by a super friendly clerk who gave me a wide smile each time she made eye contact with me. Maybe, I supposed, she knew the real reason I was shopping at this fine establishment. I had a fleeting thought that I could really use a second job.

As I exited the store and pushed my shopping cart across the parking lot, I glanced down to make sure my potting soil was secure under the cart. That's when I noticed something was wrong. My potting soil was fine, but I was looking straight down at my ass! In all my strolling, my skirt had shifted more than 90 degrees around my waist. I twisted and pulled while trying to hold on to my cart with one hand, avoid being hit by a car, and stifle my nervous laughter.

Damn. it.

Man, woman, young, old, member of the Jackson family, or not, wardrobe malfunctions will get you. So guys, don't judge us too harshly and we'll return the favor.


Sarah said...

I was looking straight down at my ass!


Lost said...

Agh! I have had that happen! I promptly got rid of that skirt clearly, the skirt was made wrong, not me! LOL!

I also was hit on once by a guy while I was at Home Depot. It was hugely embarrassing as everyone on the checkout line, including the clerk saw it happen. The clerk had a huge grin on his face b/c he scrolled out some extra receipt paper so that the guy who hit on me could give me his number.

Finding guys at stores like Home Depot and Lowes is theory.

Catherinette Singleton said...

It could have been worse-your shirt could have been unbottoned. This clearly means that the skirt is too big for you. :)

londongirl said...

Argh. I have a skirt that always twists round too - I took to safety pinning mine to my pants! (I'm all class, me)

Cinnkitty said...

Huh-uh....the last guy that tried to pick me up at the Home Depot was freaking scary! Spotted me in the "tools" section (I was looking for a cordless drill) and commented on my basket contents. "Looks like you're gonna be hanging some curtains... ugh! Guys are okay with just tacking a sheet over the window." YES..he said that!!

And then approached me OUTSIDE the Depot and said "Sooo, baby.. you need any help hanging those curtains?" in this sleazy, come on voice.

I looked him square in the eyes and said "No thank you, I have all the battery operated tools I'll ever need, so a man is basically superfluous at this point." and then marched away. :)

CoatMan said...

Hmm, if it could do that, maybe it's too loose on you? Perhaps you need to eat more cake ;-)