Sunday, June 11, 2006

First Contact - The Clever Mass Mailer

The regular Mass Mailer thinks he’s smart. But, the Clever Mass Mailer truly believes he has us fooled, ladies!

His bait is a generic form letter that he has finessed, in hopes it doesn’t sound quite so generic. In his email, he’s decided to make a “reference” to the recipient. Sort of. He’ll start something like this: “You sound like a great girl. Really down to earth. I like that in a girl.” Ok, she’s thinking, this guy could be for real. But, on he continues: “I’m 5’11, 225. I like to go hiking and camping. I enjoy spending time with my family. Blah, blah, blah.”

He makes absolutely no reference to anything specific in the girl’s profile, not even to say she looks nice in her picture (C’mon guys. The least you can do is type one damn sentence that says she looks good!). It is now clear to her that she has read yet another form letter sent to dozens of women.

And as the Clever Mass Mailer waits for his pink, plastic bait to hook the women he so thoughtfully cast it to, the latest recipient reaches for her delete button, thinking, Sorry guy. I go for the live worms.

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