Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Runner

I'm not exactly forward. If I see a guy who I think is cute, my MO is to put myself in his vicinity and hope he makes a move. Not the best way to meet a guy, I'll admit, but sometimes it turns out I'm thankful for that.

The other day at the gym, I spotted a good-looking guy on the treadmill. Unfortunately, the nice new treadmill next to him was taken. I settled for an older model and began my workout. As soon as the treadmill next to him became available, I hopped off my machine and onto that one. Sweet. A good treadmill and a chance to meet this guy.

About five minutes into my run, Cute Guy tightly gripped the handles of his treadmill. Hmm. He must be getting tired. I hope he's not getting off so soon. Then he returned to pumping his arms. Oh good. He's not stopping. Three seconds later, a rotten stench filled the air. Oh, what? Eww. Dude, was that him?

I gave him the benefit of the doubt - it could have been anyone - and let my mind wander back to his calves. A few minutes later, he grasped for the handles again. And ten seconds after that, bam! Like a month old egg cracked in July.

The next time he reached for his treadmill, I frantically jammed the emergency stop button and went to lift weights next to the old guy who smelled like peaches. Mmm. Peaches.

So guys, it's ok to stop mid-run to use the bathroom. Really, please do.


Anonymous said...

You're surprised people smell at the gym? Wow.

The Dauntless Dater said...

Ah, no dear. He didn't smell like sweat. He was gripping the treadmill in an effort to prevent himself from letting one rip. It didn't work.

LiLu said...

That would turn even ME off. That image I would have had in my head of us "getting closer"? Not so appetizing, all of a sudden.