Sunday, April 15, 2007

The Gambler

Rolling the dice in Vegas, fun. Rolling the dice on Match, not so fun. When communicating and subsequently going out with a woman whose picture you have never seen, you need to know your odds. Consider me your bookie.

If a guy doesn't have his picture posted, women know it's because he's 1. married, or 2. ugly. If a woman doesn't have her picture posted, it's because she's 1. ugly 2. married.

After a friend got burned on his fourth photo-less dated, one of my girls laid it out for him better than I ever could: "C'mon. It's not like her picture's not on there because she's too hot!"

Gamble all you want men, but don't be surprised when you leave the table empty-handed. Your odds of being happy with your date are about 10,000 to 1. After all, the House always wins.

~Thanks KJ


James said...

Although, the person that turns up doesn't always resemble the picture on the website either. It's always a gamble, but that's life.

londongirl said...

True enough - I've made that mistake a few times. They are always ugly or married!

If they've got lots of pics, so much the better - you can stab a guess at what they might actually look like in real life.

mimi from sexagenarian and the city said...

happy to discover another dating blogger! please check out my blog at


Girlie Monkey said...

Having done the online dating thing for a while about a year ago, I have to disagree with you. I've met a lot of good looking guys that had no picture posted on I live in a town of about 300,000 people so it seems like if you don't know someone, you know someone he/she knows around here. Those guys had respectable jobs and didn't feel that posting a picture online was a comfortable way to because of that. For example, one of the was a school principal. While there is nothing wrong with using an online dating site, i can totally see why a school principal wouldn't want to expose his personal life like that. I always asked for pictures to be sent via email though (more than one ;-)

The Dauntless Dater said...

James: True indeed!

LG: I'd love to hear about the moment you found out one of them was married!

Mimi: Thanks. will do.

GM: I suppose their could be exceptions to the rule (principals, mayors, chief of police), but I'm still comfortable following the rule.

Joel said...

With online dating, your odds of meeting your soul mate are about the same as winning big in Vegas. Like gambling, online dating is high risk and inherently dangerous. Online dating is not what you see is what you get. Photos are often swiped from modeling agency sites and profiles often completely plagiarized.

It seems privacy and online dating are mutually exclusive, would you agree?

Today, about 40% of single adults use online dating. The problem with most dating sites is they offer no privacy. Because profiles/photos must be searchable by other members, there is a requirement to surrender control of sensitive personal information. Amazingly, millions of online daters willingly share this private information. I am not one of them.

However, there are also millions of single adults that avoid online dating because they place significant value upon personal privacy and safety. For these people, exposing their personal lives on the public internet for anybody and everybody to search and find is not acceptable.

Sparkbliss ( is fueling the “private online dating” revolution. Have you heard of it?

Sparkbliss works like this: each member develops a private network of trusted friends and families who can view his/her profile and make romantic introductions on their behalf. Members have complete control over who they invite into their private network. Some people add as many connections as possible, while others are more conservative. Adding “super connectors,” those people that seem to know everybody maximizes your ability to find the right person.

With online dating, people are often untruthful, superficial, and subjective. Online dating behavior is frequently disingenuous; outdated photos and plagiarized profiles are commonplace. In contrast, Sparkbliss enforces honesty and integrity, because it is moderated by people that know you. Sparkbliss goes a step further to mitigate concerns over safety by recommending introductions include some kind of reference and testimonial.

Sparkbliss takes “six degrees of separation” and applies the idea to dating. A recent Temple University study revealed “63% of married couples met through a network of friends.” Our loved ones instinctively want to help us find companionship. If it can help discover your soul mate, why not let friends and family play matchmaker?