Wednesday, September 13, 2006

They're Baaack!

Remember the Mass Mailer? That little f'er who thinks he can send a hundred women the same 'personal' email and we'll never know it's a fake? Well, some man somewhere must be telling all his buddies about his brilliant idea, because it's spreading like the clap! Here's some of the best ones I've seen lately...

Mr. Maybe-insulting-your-town-will-get-me-in-your-pants Mass Mailer:

You have "a lack of pretense I find compelling (if not downright rare in this area)."

Looks like I'm the only one around here lacking any pretense. Delete.

Mr. I-swear-I'm-not-married-and-looking-for-a-one-night-stand Mass Mailer:

"I'm in from Australia for the next month or so...I'm happy to send a photo should you wish to see one. I have had problems uploading them onto the site, but should be able to send it to a yahoo account or something similar."

Please! Rapping Granny could upload a photo. Delete.

Mr. I'm-too-cool-for-school Mass Mailer:

"From your words alone, it sounds like you're someone who can more than hold your own on any level, conversationally or intellectually, which is actually a bit of a lost art these days."

The only thing that's lost around here is this email. Delete.

Mr. You're-definitely-the-0ne Mass Mailer:

"Hi. It is so nice to read a profile by someone that I really believe could be a true match for myself!" And later, " You are exactly why I signed up for this!"

This has to be someone f'ing with me! Delete.

This mass mailing has got to stop. Spread the know people!

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