Thursday, March 22, 2007

Something Borrowed, Something Bribed

I have a confession to make. The Dauntless Dater has been neither dauntless nor dating as of late.

In order to get both my blog and myself through this rough patch, I've enlisted the help of a close friend. Or rather, the help of her bad date...

15 minutes in:

Boy: I just got back from Africa and I drank the best tea there. Have you ever had African tea?

Girl: No, I haven't.

Boy: Well, you will just have to go out with me again and I'll bring you some. It's delicious!

50 minutes in:

Girl: Yeah, I started reading The Corner, but I accidentally dropped it in the bathtub and now it's too big and bloated to read.

Boy: That sucks! Lucky for you, I have a copy of The Corner. Now you'll have to go out with me again to get the tea and the book!

1 hr 25 minutes in:

Girl: Oh, I love red wine.

Boy: Me too! Geez, you really have to go out with me again and I'll bring you the tea, The Corner, and the wine!

1 minute after the date:

Girl: Tell you what, I'll do you one better. If you don't go out with me again, I'll let you keep all your shit!

Leave the bribery at the office guys.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Gee Steve, you sure know how to make a girl feel special

Steve wrote to me on March 5th. His email went something like this,

"I liked your profile. I'm a nice guy. I'm the kind of guy who opens car doors. I'd even text you to say, 'I'm just texting you to let you know I'm thinking of you.' That's just the type of guy I am. I'd really like to hear from you just to get to know you."

Steve emailed me again today, March 8th. His email went something like this,

"I liked your profile. I'm a nice guy. I'm the kind of guy who opens car doors. I'd even text you to say, 'I'm just texting you to let you know I'm thinking of you.' That's just the type of guy I am. I'd really like to hear from you just to get to know you."

All right buddy. Heard you the first time. No need to say it twice.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

So what?

So what if you haven't been out on a date in two months?

So what if you just signed up for a new dating service because you couldn't stand the last one, but now you aren't getting as many emails and winks as you expected, so you keep checking to make sure your internet connection is working?

So what if admitting to someone that you're online dating feels like you're admitting you're a leper trying to find other lepers who will agree to have leprosy with you?

So what if you always tried hard to pretend your ex was pining for you from afar, but you just found out he's (I mean she's, of course) dating someone new, and they're probably snuggled up on the couch while you stare at your computer screen hoping to find someone other than your dog to love?

None of this makes you a freak. It makes you human. And be glad that you aren't settling for anyone. Especially that ex. Because frankly, he..damn it, she...wasn't all that anyway.